A not so friendly game of cards
by loveydovey14
Summary: The tom-kits make a bet with the queen-kits while playing cards.
1. Chapter 1

**Grrr, I'm angry. School starts in two weeks! (I got out on May 27th, I go back on August 15th.) I'm gonna be a Junior. Maybe I should just take my anger out on writing a story, shall I?**

**The "Can we play with you guys?" bit is in parody of _The Simpsons. _Some of the other meanings for B.S. made me laugh real hard. My sister told me "Baloney Sandwhich".**

**Nothing is mine but the story. READ!**

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><p>It was a glorious early August afternoon in the London Jellicle junkyard. Most cats were sprawled out in open sunny areas, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Some other cats, however, sought cooler areas in the shade. Three particular tom-kittens were playing a card game in an old toy chest that was turned on it's side.<p>

"Hey toms!" Jemima shouted.

Plato, Pouncival and Tumblebrutus looked up from their playing, rather annoyed. (Especially Plato. He had a good hand going). The queen-kits walked up to them.

"What do you guys want?" Tumble said rather rudely.

"We wanna play with you guys!" Etcetera squeeled.

"Well, we don't wanna play with you." Plato snubbed. "So go bug someone else, you walking cootie machines. Preferably, Tugger?"

Etcetera folded her arms. "As much as Tuggy enjoys our company, for the moment, we wanna play with our favorite toms!" Etetera and Electra flung their arms around Pounce, Jemima hugged Tumble, and Victoria tackled Plato. The tom-kits shoved them off none too kindly.

"What game are you guys playing, anyway?" Electra questioned. Tumblebrutus but down two cards, facing down.

"Two sevens. None of your business. Now, shoo. Off you go."

Victoria pouted. "But Jenny says we need to play with you guys!"

Plato set down four cards, not showing their numbers. "Four eights. We don't care what Jenny says. We're in the middle of a game, and we're not stopping to play with you guys."

"You don't have to stop playing that game, we'll play cards with you!" Electra whined.

"N to the O, no!" Pouncival snapped back to his younger sister. He laid two cards down. "Two nines."

The queen-kittens exchanged glances. Jemima spoke up. "Well girls, I can see where this is going. You guys have left us no choice but to use our most powerful method of persuasion."

The toms-kits looked at them oddly. "Which is..." said Plato. All at once, the queens began to shout:

"Can we play with you guys? Can we play with you guys? Can we play with you guys? Can we play with you guys?"

The tom-kits groaned. This wasn't really persuasion, was it was downright ANNOYING. "No!" they yelled.

"Can we play with you guys?"

"No!"

"Can we play with you guys?"

"No!

"Can we play with you guys?"

"No!"

This carried on for several more minutes. Neither the toms or the queens were showing any signs of giving in the other side's demands. That is, until a very angry and annoyed Munkustrap marched into view.

"STOP!" The kittens all stopped yelling and flattened their ears and hunched low at the sight of their furious tribe protector. "Boys, just let them play, and cease this infernal bickering! Many other cats are complaining."

Plato, Pounce, and Tumble groaned. "But Munkustrap-" Plato began to protest.

"Don't give me your 'buts', or that's what my paw will be smacking." The toms groaned louder. Although Munkustrap was not their parent, he had the authority to punish them. And if Jenny, Jelly, Skimbleshanks, and Asparagus heard that Munkustrap had punished them, it would result in more punishments from their parents. They didn't want to take the risk.

"Fine." they all mumbled. The queens smiled as Munkustrap walked away. "Deal them in." Pounce said. Tumble gave a certain amount of cards to each queen-kit.

"We're playing B.S." he said. "But since none of us here are allowed to say what B.S. stands for, we're using other things that have those initials". The girls nodded in understanding. "Cettie, you start".

Etcetera set down two cards. "Two nines" she proclaimed. Jemima went next.

"One ten".

"Britney Spears!" Pouncival shouted. Jemima turned over her card, and revealed she was right. Pounce took the cards.

"Three Jacks." Electra said.

"Boy Scouts!" Tumble called. Electra turned over her card. He caught her bluff, She sighed and took the card back. The game carried on for ten more minutes, with someone occassionally shouting "Boloney Sandwhich!" or "Blood Sugar!"

"This is a fun game." Etcetera said, laying down five cards. "Five aces".

"Bumper sticker!" Pouncival exclaimed. Cettie turned over her card, proving she was right. Pounce took the deck. "Well, don't expect us to let you play again".

"Why not?" Jemima asked. The toms looked at the numerous cards they had in their paws, and the very little the queens held.

" 'Cause you're beating us".

Victoria huffed. "Sore loser". Just then a thought crossed her mind. "Hey, how about we make this a memorable game and make a bet?" She smiled slyly.

The tom-kits' ears perked up at that word. "A wager?" Tumble questioned. Victoria nodded. "We're listening".

"If one of you toms should win this game, we will never ask to play with you again". Now THAT was something the tom-kits liked. "But if one of us queens should win, you guys have to sing and dance whatever song we pick in front of the whole junkyard".

Plato, Pounce, and Tumble exchanged looks. "Fair deal" Plato said at last.

The game continued. Eventually, only Tumblebrutus and Electra had one card left in their paws. Victoria just had Jacks, so Tumble had the Queen. But he only had a four. He gulped, and prayed they woudn't catch his lie. He set down the card.

"One queen".

"Big Sister!" Electra shouted. Tumblebrutus groaned and took the deck of cards. It was Electra's turn. One card left. If they could catch her bluffing, they would still have a chance.

"One King".

"Bible Study!" Pounce called out. Electra turned over her card, and it was...A KING!

"I win!" she cried. The queens cheered, and the toms growled.

"Alight, what song should we make them sing?" Victoria wondered aloud as she tapped her chin. After a few seconds of pondering, Jemima thought of a good one.

"I got it, you guys have to sing..." She whipered it into Pounce's ear. His eye grew wide.

"No, no, no, no, NO".

"That seems to be their word of the day, doesn't it Vicky?" Cettie said. Victoria nodded.

"You guys have to honor the gamble". Jemima stated. Pouncival gave a death glare.

"Fine".

"-AND, you have to wear costumes".

"_OH COME ON_!"

"Just do it".

Pounce's face turned red. "You are an evil, devious, manipulating little kitten".

"What? Dude, what do we have to sing, dance, and dress up to?" Plato nearly shouted. Pouncival motioned his friends to come closer. He whispered the song to them. Plato and Tumblebrutus flattened their ears.

"We. Hate. You." they both said. The queen kits giggled.

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><p><strong>What will the toms have to sing? If you review, you will find out!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, it was very sunny, but there was a nice cool breeze blowing. Every cat was out doing what they do best. Munkustrap was patrolling, Jenny and Jelly were knitting, Tugger was flirting, Alonzo was trying to out-flirt him, and Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer looked through their recenltly stolen loot. All was calm, until the queen kittens came into view.

"Hey! Hey everybody!" Electra shouted. All heads turned to them.

"What's wrong Electra? Is there an emergency?" Munkustrap worriedly asked.

"No, but the toms have a little show for everyone!" she said.

The tribe all exchanged glances, then shrugged and found a spot to watch whatever show they were in for. Victoria pulled a boom box out from a garbage pile and put in a CD. Music started to play. Everyone recognized this music. They heard Gus's theater troup sing to this once. Was it Gilbert and Sullivan? And here came the tom-kits, who were wearing...kimonos? They were dressed as Japanese geishas! Some cats, like Munkustrap, Jellylorum, Jennyanydots, Demeter, Cassandra, and Skimbleshanks, stared at this odd cross-dressing, others like Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer, Alonzo, Admetus, and Exotica smiled broadly. The three tom-kits, who were showing no signs of humiliation, each spread out a fan as they started to sing.

_"Three little maids from school are we_  
><em>Pert as a school girl well can be<em>  
><em>Filled to the brim with girlish glee<em>  
><em>Three little maids from school"<em>

_"Everything is a source of fun"_ Pouncival sang.

_"Nobody's safe, for we care for none" _Tumblebrutus sang.

_"Life is a joke that has just begun" _Plato sang.

_"Three little maids from school _

_Three little maids who all unwary  
>Come from a ladies seminary<br>Free from it's genius tutelary  
>Three little maids from school<br>Three little maaaiiids from schooool!"_

Pouncival pushed in front of the other two.

_"One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum!"_

Tumble pushed him aside.

_"Two little maids in attendence come!"_

Plato shoved him aside.

_"Three little maids is the total sum!"_

_"Three little maids from school" _they all sang.

Pouncival walked to the side.

_"From three little maids, take one away."_

Tumble leaned in to Plato.

_"Two little maids remain, and they-"_

_"Won't have to wait very long they say,"_ Plato finished.

_"Three little maids from school,  
>Three little maids from school,<br>Three little maids who all unwary  
>Come from a ladies seminay<br>Free from it's genius tutelary  
>Three little maids from school<br>Three little maaaiiids from schooool!"_

The tom-kits took their bows. At first, only the sound of stifling laughter was coming from a few cats, and then the whole tribe started to laugh and cheer. Munkustrap walked up to them.

"Well kits, have an explanation for this?"

Plato spread his fan and said in a high-pitched lady-like voice "Is it a CRIME to love the theater?"

Munkustrap rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No. But, get out of those costumes, they're a bit disturbing."

"I can't help that I'm pretty!" Pouncival proclaimed. They walked back to their den and removed their kimonos.

"I have to admit, that WAS kinda fun" admitted Plato. Pounce nodded.

"Well, I just hope nobody got that on video" Tumble sighed. Outside, Mungojerrie looked at the performance on his hand-held camera.

"Ooh-hoo! It was a good t'ing we swiped this, eh Teazah?"

Rumpleteazer giggled. "Yeah!"

"This is goin' staigh' t'Youtube!" Jerrie laughed.

"And Myspace!" Teazer added.

"And Facebook!"

"And Twittah!"

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><p><strong>I have recently found a liking to Three Little Maids. I've seen videos of men and boys doing it, and they were hilarious! Now, review!<strong>


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